SCREWFACE CAPITAL

that's my city and i run it, while you just run around in it

back for the first time

25 THINGS ABOUT TORONTO

25.SCARBOROUGH whether it be malvern, glendower, section 6, parma, flemo, or chester le, (sorry if i forgot any) we all hold it down. i'm from the place with the stupidest nicknames. scarlem, scompton, scarberia, and scarlanka?!
24.THE BLUFFS a sweet place down an outrageous hill just beside a suicide cliff. come during the day for great scenery, maybe a picnic, or even an adventurous hike along the lakeshore. OOORRR come at night where after hour club people stroll along the beach or just dangitty in there cars.
23.EDWARD'S GARDENmy favourite secret of Toronto is Edward's Garden. a botanical garden that's most beautiful during the mid summer. it's the start of the toronto bike trail, open fields, dog parks, picnic grounds, horse back riding, a small ravine to feed ducks, the best scenery of flowers and trails a.k.a the best spot to take a date.
22.TTC
they raise the prices every now and then, complain about there rights quite often, and go on strikes even more. without them, we are left stranded. this is your Toronto bible, memorize it!
21.WOODBINE BEACH
Lake Ontario water isn't the cleanest water to swim in but still good enough. volleyball on wednesdays are bomb! walking on the boardwalk is chillage, and nothing beats having an ice cream at the beach on a hot day (especially with all are smog) WORD TO BOTCH!
20.YONGE STREET
bussiest street in Toronto, longest in Canada! kinda a big deal
19.YONGE DUNDAS SQUARE
my Toronto hater of a friend called it the time's square ripoff. i don't care, i'm kinda debating if i should consider this as the heart of Toronto? it's up there, but it certainly is the centre of my city.
18.QUEEN STREET
obviously highlighted by the chum city building home of citytv and muchmusic. Queen street is the place to be on a hot summer day of shopping. little boutiques and patios, with the street filled with only the prettiest and flyest.
17.TORONTO ISLAND
this is the infamous view from toronto island, the inspiration for my tatoo. take a ferry, stroll the paths along the day OOORRR rock out at night.
16.QUEEN'S ALLEY
Toronto's best display of local and international grafitti. starts just beside muchmusic and goes all the way past Bathurst in the back alleys of the buildings along Queen Street.
15.NATHAN PHILLIPS SQUARE
another canidate for centre of Toronto. chillage during the summer while the water fountains are streaming. BUT nothing beats skating on the frozen ice during the winter!!! just ask Botch about our first date.
14.HOTDOGS
SSOOOOOOOOOOOO supposedly Winnipeggers are religious about how amazing there street meat is?! i beg to differ TORONTO STREET MEAT>over your city's hotdogs. i really mean it.
13.CP24
you already know CP24 is on lock right now on your tv, this is your bible!!! Gord Martineau = GOAT.
12.DRAKE
Botch is going to hate me for this one! Toronto finally has a voice in hip hop and not just a minor one, a big one!!! dude is talented and is the next to blow (pause)! i'm not going to hype him up too much, but i hope he makes our city proud, we're all behind you on this one.
11.KARDINAL OFFISHALL
before there was Drake, there was Kardi. been putting out hot shit but never been able to reach to the masses outside the t.dot. dangerous did well but his cd did ok i guess. hopefully he can keep putting in work and get the recognition he deserves ..... ol' time killing.
10.DJ STARTING FROM SCRATCH
if you ever listened to flow 93.5 at 5 pm, you'd know exactly who dj starting from scratch is? traffic show mix show!!!!! where scratch just murders his own mixes and songs he blends together. PARTY IN YOUR CAR. but unfortunately he's kinda lost some cool points with me of travelling up to Winnipeg and hitting on my girlfriend?!

9.CIRCA
the original owner was a new york club owner so i guess he knew what he was doing when he bought the former playdium building over and built his own club costing around 2 million with about 20 hidden rooms. it was hot when it opened. odd crowd on the fridays but they always came through with the special guests. too bad the owner sold his club for a shit load of money to some new owners who are trying to turn it into strictly a hip hop place. overall, probably one of the best clubs in TO. an escalator in a club?!
8.GOODFOOT
TO's first sneaker spot opened back in 2003, right in the middle of the SB era and has expanded into ransom, nomad, stussy toronto, along with 3 other Toronto locations. Livestock you still got a place in my heart.
7.CARIBANA
long weekend August, it's a wrap! streets are flooded, clubs are flooded, gal wine pon mi. IT'S JUST A HUGE PARTY
6.KENSINGTON MARKET
just walking in the area gives you the best vibe. local marketers selling anything creative from vintage gear to homegrown vegetables.
5.STREETCARS
you know your downtown Toronto when ...
4.CNE GROUNDS/ONTARIO PLACE
Ontarion Place is fun for a million things especially when the ampitheatre is rocking but for the 2 1/2 weeks in august leading to Labour day weekend, nothing beats the CNE.
3.TORONTO SPORTS TEAMS
Kerry Joseph is not a good fit for the Argonauts. Chris Bosh is going to leave us but hopefully Hedo and Bargnani step up for the Raptors. Leafs aren't going to win much but atleast they'll fight every game, Burke knows what he's doing and the Jays need one more slugger, DON'T TRADE HALLADAY!!!
2.ROGERS CENTRE
i was alittle upset when Ted Rogers bought over the Skydome and renamed it the Rogers Centre but it's grown on me. First baseball game memories, a date with Botch, crisp day open dome, beers, yankees.
1.CN TOWER
you didn't think i was going to leave this one out, DID YOU??? C'monnnnnn. Dubai may have built a bigger tower but we still love ours the same. this is my city and i put on for it.



hope i didn't miss anything too critical. anyways hope you had fun. my name is Alex ... again. my favourite color is red, my favourite number is 9, my favourite beer is Blue, and kobe>lebron

BITE MY LIP

FUCK.. IT'S SO FUCKING HOT..

sticky sweaty kind of hot.
so am i the only person in the world who thinks this girl is bunk as fuck?! no idea why she's getting so much love.. no idea what-so-ever. fucking ew.. anyway .. back to the 25's.. i'll just get right to it!

25 COULD GET IT

25. WEEZY
lil wayne is probably the ugliest mother fucker on the planet.. but he could still get it. something about his fucking swag that's so fuckin proper! he'd be like the sloppy dance floor introduction, 8 beers too many, dude who doesn't call you for three months til he's ready to party again.. but you still go over when he calls, cuz he's a good time.



24. SLUG
believe it. slug is number 24. as much as i LOVE slug, it's his swag that i'm after. i found slugs raps to be so different, and so real, and he comes so hard, but he raps so chill. like how do you rap chill and still come hard?! the first time i saw slug live, i was like omgg.. i need to bang this man.. but it's died down a little.. but i think if i saw him live it'd go back to like top fifteen status. i just think the cigarette with him afterwards would still be hot shit.. and for that, he makes the cut.



23. COOL CALM PETE
i fell in love with cool calm pete about three years ago, and every time i hear his song on my berry it feels like i'm hearing him for the first time. HIS VOICE IS SOOO FUCKING SEXY. i just want him to talk shit and call me ill na na. "the beats so hot, they sizzle when you mumble like-- i know im nice but keep it on the humble like, so nice you had to say it thrice.." so facking HOT.. AND AND when he says "tellin me she like it when i rap sloooww.. then she kissed the dick, pure bliss!" ahhaha. dude that's too wicked.



22. RYAN MALONE
FUCKA PEN.. and the bay! don't even matter.. ryan is so pretty!



21. JAKE GYLLENHAAL
he'd take you out for dinner, back to his crib, a glass of wine.. then he'd smile.. and it'd be so done.



20. JR SMITH
he's cocky, he's kind of an asshole.. and it's kind of sexy?! he's sloppy at times, but dude can score. he's like one of those dude's that's only in it to hit it.. and that's kinda fine by me.



19. JOSH PECK
maribeth says he's a little too metro. FUCK THAT! he makes me laugh and when he talks about wu-tanG my heart stops.. he knows how to make fun of himself without embarrassing himself, and i LOVE that about him.



18. PENN BADGLEY
once those beach pictures leaked.. it was so done.. AND OKAY, i guess gossip girl does have a lot to do with it.. that christmas scene was too spicy! he's so clumsy and shit on the show, but he's still ill na na.. and in real life he dresses so perfect..!



17. ED WESTWICK
HELLLLLLOOOO!! i love assholes. chuck included!!



16. SHIA LABEOUF
what's that movie where he's on house arrest?! i can't remember.. but that's the movie that did it for me. holy damn shia. holyyy damn. i wanna make out with you! then have a cigarette with you !! yay? nay?



15. JEREMY PIVEN
told you. it's all about the assholes. he just looks like he's a good kisser.. and like he smells good. smelling good is not an option, it's mandatory!



14. ALEX RODRIGUEZ
fuckin A! 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base.. hoooooooooooooome.



13. T.I.
man i remember trying to google t.i. pictures back in the day, nothing would come up. i had to type in "t.i. rubberband man" to get like two pictures.. preposterous! but now when you google t.i. he's just all over the net..!! i hear he's really short .. i don't give a fuck.. t.i. could get it.. and he can bust wherever he likeeeee.. just kidding..! relax.



12. JACK JOHNSON
GIMMIE BANANA PANCAKES!! and forehead kisses!! jack johnson is the guy that makes you breakfast in the morning while you sleep, then wakes you up with a kiss and waffles! then you lay in bed the whole day while he tells you jokes and stories while playing with your hands and your hair.. then he kisses you passionately, "mama made a baby, really don't mind to practice, cuz ur my little lady".. sure why not!



11. MARK WAHLBERG
am i the only one who watches fear and is kind of turned on by it?! okay, so he's a psycho .. and tries to murder his girlfriend's family.. that's one thing i can live without.. but faackkahhf! he's so gangster and smexy. rough me up marky.. rough, me, up.



10. TOM BRADY
*sigh.



9. COLIN FARRELL
let's make out. let's make out. let's make out.



8. JOHNNY KNOXVILLE
okay, so he's kind of weird.. but i like it. you try and tell me he is not one of the hottest men alive! that smile fucking kills me! and every time his mouth is just the slightest bit open.. it's not good for me. it's just not. faCk. he looks like he bites too.. i've said too much.



7. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
justin knows what to do.. make you feel like a queen!



6. ADRIAN GRENIER
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ADRIAN GRENIER! you're such a studdddd.. & i wanna banG you on a beach!....that is all, wait. let's add some exclamation marks for effect..!!!!!!!!!!!!



5. JAMES FRANCO
I LOVE YOU JAMES FRANCO! tell me something about this guy that you just don't love?! plus he's a stoner so we can totally blaaze it up.. before.. and after.. during.



4. METHOD MAN
method man's a good lay. if you're wondering how i know, just listen to his raps. you'll be convinced. you act like his voice doesn't get you off. bang, blaze, bang, have a few beers, bang, then dag. oh method man..



3. KID CUDI
KID CUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDIIII-I..I..
dear kid cudi, you're pretty high up on the dangiddy list.. because FACK. you're kid cudi! can i be your super boo?! for a night?! or two?! or five?!.. years? good god cudi.. the things i want to do to you, i can't even write about. i just want you. just .. i just want you. he's tall and he's beautiful.. and his real name is scott. i dunno but scott is a sexy ass name. i wanna bite your neck and call you daddy.. (don't tell alex).. uhhhh KID CUDI FOREVER.



2. NAS
so.. now that kelis is out the picture.. feel free to call me.. anytime ;)



1. ALEX
cmaaann. as if you really thought you wouldn't be number one..! every time i see you i wanna bite you.. and yeah.. ima leave it at that.. every day though. every.. day. already hit it though, so dunno if you're even allowed to be on this list..! pretty good lay though.. car nights. straight bomb baby! keep it up! hahahah

beach every day (heat almost killed me today), drama in the air, too much beer, and no money makes me tired. payce.